I have swollen, red, freshly waxed eyebrows and a biore strip on my nose while I sit in a recliner and shave my legs with an electric razor because I’m lazy and I’m wearing a dress tomorrow but I don’t feel like actually shaving them.
That’s where me and my run on sentence stand today.
How are you people? Talk to me, ok?
a rambling post
i sort of feel at peace. i know my relationship was not a healthy one towards the end but along the way there was so much positive that i cant discredit the entire relationship. i learned so much about myself and life through brian. every once in a while someone comes along with such a different thought process that youve never been around before….it changes the way you look at things. i learned a lot through that. perspective is a big thing. i think he always knew i grew up in this little hoco bubble and pushed me to view things with a more broad perspective. i know i dont fully do that still but i do more so than i ever did before. i appreciate all the positives that came from what we had. i think theyll stick with me for a really long time. he and i had a conversation this morning that really provided me with a lot of closure. yesterday we met up so we could each get our things back…that was incredibly difficult. you know, the thing i found funny was that even with how difficult seeing each other was, we still found time to make each other laugh. i think our ability to make each other laugh like none other got us through a lot. im going to miss that a lot. our conversation today though…it was good. we basically said our final goodbyes for now and shared our feelings on everything one last time. were keeping our space until my birthday then speaking again. every other relationship ive been in that has ended, ive always been happy to see the person leave my life. i dont really think brian will ever fully be out of my life. the hardest part is that a huge part of me feels like this isnt the end for is but it is. im not going to predict the future or put my hopes into anything but i know its over for now. i think if we had waited a month or so before getting back together and not rush back into a relationship in less than a week this time, things maybe could be slightly different but im not going to dwell or be hard on myself. eh, i guess i can say that all i want but im always hard on myself and overthinking is a big downfall for me. we both need to get our shit together as individuals though. there was a lot of hurt towards the end and i need time to get over that. its going to take time. i just wish i could snap my fingers and not be so sad. its hard to lose someone so important to you.
this post makes no sense. but i guess everything isnt really making sense to me anymore but oh well. here goes a new chapter of my life. im really sad to see this one go. maybe there can be a brian the friend chapter at some point.
a photo set of me with a 24 hours of crying, no makeup face and a goofy looking puppy that I’m watching!
shitty things that happened today
- I got a shot of steroids into my sternum joint
- I got put on a 9 day cycle of steroids
- all because I slept on my side and broke my sternum again
- stuck a make up brush directly into my eye
- broke up with Brian
- had my heart broken
- stubbed my toe on the way inside
so all in all, I’d like to give this day a huge FUCK YOU
